There’s a coaching tip that I picked up when toying with idea of becoming one. I suspect within this tip there was some wisdom and, from the client’s perspective, a truth. I guess, in order to be of assistance to others, it’s necessary to accept them, warts and all, as who they are. The coaching mantra in this case is “they are doing the best they can!” I have come to realize that that perspective is not only beneficial to damp down the spirit of judgment from the coach’s point of view, but beneficial in maintaining a sane relationship with individual’s who exhibit certain idiosyncrasies.
I’m not sure that I have thoroughly incorporated that coaching bit of wisdom into my personal life, but in spite of numerous lapses, I am persuaded that it is a valid way to see others. Sometimes a person recognizes an area of their personality that could benefit from a change, but habit often has a vice grip upon the human experience and makes it extremely difficult. That being said, there is another wisdom that can be filed in the back of the mind: “we cannot heal what we don’t first acknowledge.”
It is not a secret to psychologists that people, in general, find it hard to accept that their attitude or behavior may be a problem. Our psyche automatically moves to protect us from injury and, thereby, often rejects entertaining the thought that we are the ones who may be wrong. Well, none of us can truly be ultimately responsible for what others may believe or defend. In those cases it is more productive to take the coaching tip to the front of your mind and hold it close to your heart: “they are doing the best they can!” That may not heal or change the mind of someone, but, int the end, it will at least bring peace and healing to yourself. Try it, and “do the best that you can!”
Jesus and America 